Last Post For Awhile

I decided to quit my blog for awhile, not forever maybe, but to take a break from it. I'll let y'all know if/when I resume it. But I just don't feel inspired to keep up w/ it anymore and the original reason I started it doesn't seem to be working out. I started it to keep up with people/friends/relatives so that I could cut down on email and share my boys' growth/our lives with others. But it seems like the main people who read it are (yes, a few friends), but mostly stalker ex-boyfriends and their stalker ex-girlfriends and some women that were on my old single mom's board. None of my relatives read it other than my sister.

For this reason I am also setting it back to Private for friends only since no one will be reading it much more anyway, and the reason I kept it public was so people wouldn't have to log in.

That time that it takes, about 2 hrs/week, I could be putting into my ebay biz or just plain old email. Plus then with all the blogs I get on, that takes time to read those posts and comment on those, which is about another hour per week. So I'm thinking it hasn't really saved time in the end.

Actually (GASP!) I am thinking that I will join Facebook after Christmas. I have a few people on there that I would like to keep in touch with and it seems like people get on there more than they do on this blog. It's also less personal. I just hope I'm not privy to what everyone ate for breakfast and crap like that. But, with the suit out of the way for some time, I feel "safer" getting on there. The only thing that worries me is I don't want to offend anyone if I don't want to "friend" them and have like 400 friends who I barely know, but I will go ahead and take the plunge.

I hope everyone had a happy turkey day. My long weekend was half good and half bad. I'm in serious pain on my right side for 2 days and feel some kind of mass there when I press down, making me wonder if it's not a hernia. What scares me far more than pain or a possible surgery though is the thought of paying my deductible and copay which ads up to around $2500 if I have to have anything done!

Wed I took the kids to a place in Omaha called BounceU. It has all these bouncy houses and a huge slide. They were a little scared at first but as you can see below, they had a blast!

HAPPY TRAILS EVERYONE!!!!

Got Called In To My Boss's Office

The worst hour of my week I am sure I have mentioned before, is the hour long staff meeting every Monday. It used to be at 9:15 which meant that we could get it over with first thing and I could pour a superstrong cup of coffee and there was no problem other than I hated being in it.

Now though with the merger of that new company, to accommodate another employee on a different time zone, we have these at 4pm which means dreading it all day and then I do tend to get sleepy in the afternoon if there is a meeting.

I have TRIED and TRIED not to fall asleep in meetings in the afternoon but I just cannot help it. I'm fine in the morning but the duller and longer my boss pontificates about subjects like new carts to hold machines in and passwords to unlock them which has nothing to do with my job, I just cannot help it. He's apparently noticed it before. I would say in this one my eyes twitched a bit but it's not like I was full-on snoring with my head on the table or anything.

At any rate, he called me into his office afterward and said "You need to stay awake during our meetings." I tried to explain that my kids wouldn't go to bed last night and Liam was up from 3-5am, they've been sick with fevers, etc but he said "I understand," which is bullshit as his wife likely did all his child rearing. I said D, another writer, always falls asleep too and that's b/c he's up half the night w/ a small child as well but he said "I know I know but I want you to stop. Take a shot of espresso or something."

Cripes. I felt like saying if he would stop going on and on about so much dull BS I would be awake as I was with my last boss's meetings, where in Staff we talked about what we did over the weekend and my boss's most recent bad date (always entertaining) and S's poor luck with women and the meds J was on and Susan's dilemma over having 2 kids going to college for 8 years apiece to get their Bachelor's degrees only to discover her daughter wants to be a plumber or else join the peace corps and her son wants to be a professional snowboarder. Instead now I have to hear about these manufacturing problems and details which would put me to sleep even if I took a bottle of No Doz and drank triple shots of espresso with 10 hours of sleep the night before.

I want to leave here in the worst way. It's like I'm in prison though and have to fulfill my sentence until my kids are out of daycare.

WWJD?

For the entertainment of my blog readers I must post the hilarious email battle of wills going ‘round regarding my home parish’s annual Baby Jesus Breakfast following the midnight mass at Christmas Eve.

This event has been held every year since 1986, begun by a bubbly, energetic, gregarious and friendly priest who loved going the extra mile for his parishioners and even spent Christmas Eve with our family the years he was with the parish. Fast forward 20 years, and our current priest, in my opinion, cares more about forcing Latin into the service than events that would bring parishioners together. Combined with this, the woman who used to head up the event stopped 3 years ago when her grandson was born and decided not to take it on anymore. These factors added up to The Perfect Storm of problems surrounding the event.

So 2 yrs ago the priest said let’s cancel the event. Or have the mass at 10pm instead of 11pm (which I was totally FOR) instead of 11pm, then the brunch which is a long night for everyone especially those whose kids are up at the crack of dawn to open presents regardless of what time we get to bed the night before! But the new coordinator can stick to her opinion as strongly as the priest on some things, and really wants the event as do a lot of us but insists on the 11pm mass getting us out of there at midnight to eat and celebrate, and the priest doesn’t want the event held so late due to his acid reflux, his temptation to eat if he comes to the event, and thinks the smell of the egg casseroles from the downstairs oven may clash with the scent of the incense at the mass. (This had me in stitches reading these emails over my mom's shoulder on her PC).

At any rate, we're having it. I volunteered to assist. The other option was to have it held on World Marriage Day which really sucks for us single people--it divides rather than unites. Let them have their own event and plan it if they want to do something more than the big to-do the single people are subjected to each year.

More Failed Christmas Photos & Serious Problem

Last Saturday for a change the weather was beautiful. This never happens on the weekends. Heather and I decided to bring the kids to the orchard for hayrack rides and apples but they were closed for the season, so we headed back to my place to take some photos. She's excellent with graphic design and photography and offered to take some pics of my boys and me for our annual Christmas photo which has been the bane of my existence ever since the first Christmas I had them.

See last year's post for a reminder how THAT session went. It's the 12/2/08 post, it wont let me copy the link for some reason.

Here is what we got:


Would be nice if they would turn around!



Lm looks like he is at a funeral service and Lk at a banjo session...

If the sun weren't on my nose like Pinnochio this may have worked!

Here I look like Heidi Fleiss, while Lm appears in agony...

I look half asleep which I probably was by that point: a full morning at the park and the boys up half the night.

If these two were siblings I would consider using this one as it turned out great...alas, they are not. H has no problems getting great pics of Z! She's only one person plus H is more patient than me and Z is more cooperative than my guys.

"Help!" I'm in prison...

My hombre would not look up!

Lm reminds me of Jeffrey from The Family Circus.

There's my cowboy!

Yeah, this one by the evergreen didn't pan out either.

BACK TO SQUARE ONE!

I had to submit a 2 yr old photo to the church directory as it's the only decent one of the 3 of us. Sad, but true!

Will have to keep plugging away for the Christmas photo, so more misery to come and I will avail my gentle readers of our progress (if any is made!).

On a more serious note, Lk had some weird symptoms yesterday at daycare. He was playing with his train at the table and fell over backwards in a dizzy spell. Instead of calling me, T fed him his lunch and put him down for a nap. After naptime, he couldn't walk at all nor sit without falling over. She checked his eyes etc. for dilation but there was none. He hadn't bumped his head. Instead of calling ME HIS MOM, she called my mom (as usual which has always pissed me off) to pick him up at 4:45 instead of 5pm. Mom leaves immediately and calls me here at work at 5:01--and the dr's office closes at 5!! So I couldn't even arrange for an appt.

On a side note, they are there ONE MORE WEEK and my misery with that daycare will end. I have hated sending them there since July of 2008 due to T's lack of care and overall nastiness ever since her health problem at that time--her personality did a 180. So I am looking forward to them being out of there!

Once home, Lk fell one more time, then I told mom on the phone to give him a banana till I could get home (potassium) and he said to Grandma, "I'm all better now, Gamma. No more falling."

And he hasn't had any symptoms since, of any kind. He was his usual self last night. No doubt I will have to take him to the dr soon though for peace of mind. It's a cloud over my head. Could he have a neurological disorder? Or was it a passing freak bug ? Fluid in the ears? An inner ear imbalance? I'm scared for him although he seems fine today.

Get Out

Lm does not like to be woken up in the morning until he is ready to get up. He's nocturnal like his mother, and enjoys sleeping in. This is a blessing for me, especially on the weekends, but during the week it's not easy to get him up. Above is a pic of him as a baby and even then he did not want to be disturbed from his slumbers!

I'm not what you'd call a cheery morning person, unlike my mother who would come in clapping and singing "Rise and Shine" when I was little. So this morning I go into Lm's room, my hair all askew, half bent over in slumber, eyes at half mast and my throat like a frog's to say, "It's time to get up" full of dread.

He looked so comfy there clutching his monkey blanket and when he finally cracked his eyes open he goes, "Get out" and pointed for me to leave. He slays me, indeed! As my mom likes to say, the apple has not fallen far from the tree.

Yesterday we had a scary incident. I was taking the boys to the park since for once it was a nice weather weekend, when my brakes stopped working altogether as we were about to pull out onto the highway! To keep from driving into the middle of oncoming traffic I had to throw the gear shift in Park and am now awaiting the lovely call from my mechanic to see what the bill will be. Am just glad though it didn't happen on the highway instead of the gravel road! When we got home, my sweet Lky said, "Mommy, I'm sorry your car is broke," and threw his arms around me. My sweet, empathetic little boy! Now, why aren't MEN this way??

Moralizing & Putdowns Disguised as Helpful Advice

What a great article someone posted to my single moms board today! I didn't include the whole thing and bolded the parts I found particularly "helpful"--no pun intended! Most bolding is theirs, not mine.

www.verbalabuseworkbook.com/7.html

How to deal with Moralizing & Subtle Putdowns
Disguised as "Helpful Advice"

Genuine Helping is Sharing what one has learned from a place of compassion. It is accompanied by a willingness to listen. Skilled helpers listen a lot and check to see if s/he understands what the other is saying by paraphrasing or asking questions.

Helping differs from Narcissistic Unhelpfuness. Narcissistic Unhelpfuness is based on a misperceived ego need of the self-appointed helper: the need to prove oneself, the need to be right, and the need to feel morally superior. On the receiving end, the help or advice seems disjointed, cloying, abrupt, out-of-place, suffocating, shaming or demeaning. The shaming can be subtle, leaving you feeling not quite good enough as opposed to feeling empowered.

Concurrent with the insecurity driving the need to prove oneself can be arrogance regarding the amount of knowledge/intelligence the helper possesses and defensiveness when challenged regarding facts and ideas. There is a need to always be right. The need to feel better than others is a narcissistic trait that tends to run rampant in hierarchical cultures. This includes the need to feel morally superior.

Set boundaries, as suggested below.

Some innocuous replies are:
"Thanks, but I am just not in the mood for fixing anything right now."
"I'm sure you mean well, but listening would be more helpful right now."
"Is that what you are working on right now?" (said inquisitively can effectively turn the tables.)
"I am truly glad that the program/therapy/religion is working for you." (Works when the "therapy speak" is thinly veiled criticism.)
"Thank you for thinking of me. I have my own program/strategy/spirituality that works for me."

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether someone is being clumsy or hurtful, but the above comments cover both bases.

EDITED TO ADD: I got a bunch of calls & emails from people thinking I was writing about them specifically. I wasn't. It's just something that a lot of people do, myself included, part of human nature I guess, and hard to be on the receiving end of it as well.

Two Sombrero Wearing Gentlemen on Halloween

Saturday night was a big night for my little guys as they got to go Trick or Treating in 2 towns and all around the neighborhood and got lots of candy! I planned their outfits well in advance this year, bought the hats at a thrift shop over the summer and my mom sewed the purple outfits. They are supposed to be Mexican sombrero wearing gentleman in case anyone is wondering.

In the car on the way there (my mom drove).

First stop: the elementary school where the high schoolers put on a little gig, which is basically just tables of candy and it's for the little kids to get a start on the night by putting some into their bags. Mine had little pumpkins to carry.

This year we did not do the pageant at the Community Center where they won their prize last year for best costume as chickens. It was a zoo in there and with it being so claustrophobic we opted out of that! Glad we did!

This is them inside the school gym which was not crowded at all. This is where they will be going to school in 2 years as kindergartners and also where I attended and so did my dad and grandma (but the school was rebuilt since then).

It really was the first year they totally understood the whole concept of what was going on as far as the trick or treating and getting candy. Lk tried to be scary by saying "Roar!" on occasion but he's too darn cute to scare anyone, in my opinion! :) But he did get scared by a couple of other costumes that he saw and clung to my leg or to Grandma.

Fresh with their stash from the school, we went to 2 houses in that town of people we have known for years. In fact we only went to houses of people that we knew. We live in a small town neighborhood with virtually no crime but I still feel more comfortable going to homes of people we know, because half the fun is showing off their outfits to people we know and getting to see their outfits and decorations as well.

They were on a mission!

In between the 2 towns, we stopped at 3 neighbors that are rural. I emailed them all in advance to ask if we could come. We are close to these people and know them well so we wanted to have that experience. They invite us in and it's a social thing as well. Usually my guys are the only trick or treaters as we get none out in the country, allowing them several candy bars and such which I have to keep in check and ration out carefully!

Next we went to the house of the neighbors that have the hen house (see last year's post) where Lm, dressed as a chicken, scared all their chickens half to death when he burst into their hen house. Needless to say he did not get a 2nd invitation back into that building! But we had a great time at their house again this year and my greedy guys took handfuls of candy for their buckets...

Then it was on to the town of D a v * e y, where we went to every single house of every person we know who had a light on! They really raked it in there. This was about 7-7:30 and we walked while Mom followed us in the car. Most places said take 2 pieces but at one place Lk took 2 pieces and the lady said "ONE PIECE ONLY!" but she's generally always crotchety so we weren't hurt. So I took one piece from him and put it in Lm's bucket. Then we went to the house on the other side of the rectory where last year they got 50 cent pieces but their light was off so no additions this year to their college fund :)

Our final stop was our nearest neighbor whose husband has cancer again :( and she was nice enough to give them some candy. By then it was 8pm so we headed home.

A pic of my guys with Grandma. We were lucky the weather was really nice!

"BOO!" Lk goes. See? He's just not scary yet.

I let my budding photographer take one picture of me, though I had no makeup on and look like $hit here, but my boy is proud of taking pics!

That cross on the wall I gave to my mom some years back. It's silver and hand made, the picture doesn't do it justice but I got it on a trip to Matamoros Mexico in 2002

After I changed them into their jammies, I got a phone call. One of my neighbors hadn't been home and she felt bad that they didn't get home in time. She and her girlfriend had been out, so they asked if they could come over with their candy as they had the bags prepared which I thought was really sweet.

I said, "They are not in costume anymore. They are impostures!" :) So I showed them the outfits.

Naturally my guys begged for more candy! I gave them 3 M&Ms each and said that's it. But surprisingly they were tuckered out and went right to sleep at 8:30 instead of the usual 11pm during the week!

Speaking of, I'm still so ticked about the daycare situation. I dropped Lm off late this morning as he had a speech appt with his speech teacher and T's mom came to the door and wouldn't let me look inside but I obviously saw that, at 9am, all were still in their highchairs watching mindless TV!!!

Thank God it's only for 2 more weeks and they are OUT OF THERE. More update on that saga later.