Now, of course, we women have our flaws as well. We're catty, backstabbing, and disloyal to each other. But one of the main differences between men and women is that, when we're in love, we often put the man's feelings before ours in most situations or at least equal to ours. A man never will. He'll always put his own feelings first. Now, if something's convenient for the guy and he can look like the hero and please the woman with the hopes of getting laid, perhaps, then the appearance of putting the woman's feelings first may show. Or if he wants to meet some "goal" or other, he will bother. Otherwise, ladies, we're on our own.
Don't get me wrong. I love men. But they are liars to the core whenever it conveniences them or makes them look good. And they will happily step on our feelings to do it.
Having been put through the wringer over the past couple of years (or 10), I want to share my own personal experience here of actual lies I've been told and what the true meaning actually was. See below a comprehensive translation of what men say and what they really mean. Enjoy! And please feel free to add any of your own in the Comments section.
(you can double click the pictures for easier reading)
6 comments:
Don't forget the always classic "It's not you, it's me...I just don't know what I want" Truth: I'm not getting what I want from you (to get laid) so I'm looking elsewhere
"Your a teacher AND you have kids???" Oh, I love kids, but followed by a LONG silence. TRUTH: You must be like those crazy cat ladies, but with kids. I will run FAR FAR away!
"Oh, I am only living with my Mom till I finish up school (Tech school mind you! :)) and get on my feet (at age 43)." TRUTH: I have zero ambition and just need someone to sap off of and sleep with.
"I think that it is great that that you are a SMC. Women who embrace their independence are so appealing to me." TRUTH: You are going dutch for our date, right?
Oh Terri, there are so many....You are so right. And to think that I am raising 3 more of this breed. I just pray that I can somehow drill some morals into their DNA-deprived brains.....
On "Don't date him girl.com" on the ask Joe Average, they asked him why men lie so much. He said, MOST of the time, it's because men can't do women's feelings. In other words, they will SAY ANYTHING to not hurt a girl. No matter how preposterous it may seem.
The dumped part is SO true.
But to be honest, I've SO played the keeping someone else on a back burner thing. Yet, I've not done it to be a pig (like my boyfriend has done to me in the past). I've done it because my trust is so damaged from men, initially, that I don't feel right placing all my trust in one man, at least not as of yet.
I can think of someone right now whom I've kept someone on the back burner because my main man was being such a douchbag.
It's sad. I wish men were more actualized, that a man could just be honest (and I can think of TWO men in my past as examples) who should have been honest with me from the beginning and said, "Look, I've never had a long term relationship before. And there's reasons. I'm a mess. I have mommy-issues. I can't be emotionally intimate and mature, etc." Then I would have ran away, and neither party would have been faced with deceit and heartache.
You're being too generous, Nat. I don't think men give a flying fig about hurting a woman's feelings. I think they don't want to DEAL with women's feelings--you're spot on there. Meaning, they don't want to SEE our hurt or be on the receiving end of any negativity from us. As we've talked about before, they want to look good and they want absolution. They'll lie to get it. Ever see the movie Matchpoint? That is an extreme case of a man lying but frighteningly NOT far off the mark of your everyday Joe.
But I do agree that men often can't even be honest with themselves, let alone with us.
How about "I love you like a sister!". That's a classic "I love you but know you're asking me to make a commitment to you and truly show and express the depth of my love" (sound of running feet as they back away quickly)
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