This morning we get to work to find a lovely email from our CFO. It went on for 5 paragraphs but I can sum it up for you in one sentence: "Do not get sick, and if you do, don't go to the doctor; if you MUST go to the doctor, resign and go work for another company that can afford to pay your premiums." Basically we were threatened that if we continue seeking healthcare, the company will quit paying our premiums in 2010.
Oh, it was all couched in terms like "nothing is more important than the health of our employees" and "we have control over whether or not to subscribe to these services (ie, going to the doctor!)" and "you have a choice" and this will take a "team effort." Excuse me, but I have yet to meet anyone who, in their spare time, is wanting to run up company expenses by waiting for two hours in a doctor's office, getting poked and prodded or having a pap smear, just for the pure pleasure of it!
It took a lot of self control not to hit the Reply button with my own suggestions as to how the company can save on costs, so to vent, I will go ahead and list them here for my gentle readers in case any CFOs happen to read my blog (God help me though, I hope my own CFO does not get wind of it!). So here I go:
- Stop putting the execs and their wives up in 5 star resorts and paying for their damn rounds of golf, so that they can meet to discuss how to cut our benefits. We have conference rooms for them to discuss how to screw us over; can't they use those??
- Bill, yes actually send an invoice to customers that have actually made a purchase (we lost 2 mill last year from this "clerical error.")
- Don't RIF people for no reason, who have been working here for 20+ years--this is why they then started their own business and have been taking our customers left and right.
- Seriously, why in the world would you spend 6 mill to try to woo an international customer that made it pretty clear from the get-go would never sign with us?
- Making us bring our own office supplies to work now whilst spending $$ on motivational posters and personality tests does little for morale.
- Fix the plumbing problems once and for all so that we don't have to walk across to the other building like we did in the dead of winter every time we had to use the restroom.
There. Maybe I am cut out for a consulting job, I don't know. My former boss is thinking of starting a consulting company and maybe my credentials will get me an "in" there, who knows.
P.S. In case any of you have been gripping the arms of your chairs in anticipation of my score on the personality test that I posted about a couple weeks ago: I am Meditative and that dumbass I don't like who sits next to me is Targeted. Meaning, he is "autocratic" (their words, not mine) and I "refuse to be hurried". I could've said this for free minus the 1 hour meeting--another notch on my belt for perhaps considering a consulting career...
7 comments:
Hilarious, but sad because it's all true!
Oh yah, and if you ever need to talk, I'm the Accomodator, focusing on team harmony and can become the "office shrink"...lol
;0)
Theresa for CFO!
Yes, Heather can be the co. shrink (for free though as it can't be billed to our insurance) and I as CFO...I like it...
That is ridiculous. I agree with you 100%. It is ALWAYS pretty darn simple to see EXACTLY where they can cut back to save $$, but they do not usually like just WHAT they will find...Sad, but true!
It's quite sad isn't it? Companies will find every little avenue to cut costs, including the care of their loyal employees! Kind of sick eh!? I wonder what you will find in your in-box a few months from now?
I'm not suprised. At least you get benefits. I've only had one job my whole life that didn't screw me out of healthcare. I've been paying my own for 10 years, not fun, and very expensive.
If I didn't have 2 kids I would care less about healthcare. With kids, you are hosed...
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