Some Gift Ideas Pour Moi

Oftentimes we buy gifts for people that they will never use. It's just hard to guess what other people want, even if they're close family. So I thought I would throw my list out there of some practical items I know I would be able to put to use immediately and would not have to regift later:

• A couple of size 2T straight jackets
• Padlock for my fridge door
• Gift certificate to find-a-therapist.com
• Some wall padding to make the spare room into a padded cell
• A sign that says "No Diving" to be hung above my couch
• Thorazine

See? Now you don't have try to guess what I want for Christmas; I've laid it all out there for you...