Meetings Galore, Part II

Today we had a very serious and complicated issue come up at work. One that necessitated several emails amongst many high-level executives. One that requires a special meeting tomorrow just to discuss it. One that is so critical, people are questioning our entire methodology for broad-based projects. In short, most of us showed up at 10:32 for a 10:30 meeting. Then someone said the meeting was cancelled, so we all wandered back to our desks.

To backtrack a bit, we started using Agile Methodology, which promotes iterations, incremental components and open collaboration. In a nutshell, it means we have daily meetings where nothing is accomplished and then we submit a half-ass product to the client in several increments until we get it right, rather than submitting it once after all the kinks have been worked out. One of my coworkers sums it up this way: “It legitimizes disorganization.”

Now, I’m not in the business of forwarding others’ emails, but my inbox is filled to the brim with the ridiculous missives that flew back and forth once we returned to our desks. I simply must share some samples of this hilarity with my faithful readers.

MEETING MODERATOR (condensed from many paragraphs): only two (2) people showed up for the ______ Meeting this morning. The Daily Scrum is the very basis of the AGILE Methodology. And is not an optional meeting. Without it your team members do not know what if any progress is being made on the iteration effort. If you have ideas on how to improve the process please let me know.

ME : I’m sorry this happened this morning. By my watch, I was there at 10:30, and was told along with 8 others who then showed up, that the meeting had been cancelled as there were only 2 people who showed up. Might your watch be set a couple of minutes early? I still stayed and talked with ___ regarding the files for the demo so all was not lost.

MIKE: We all have different times on our watches. If I’m at the door at 10:30 by my watch, I don’t expect the meeting to be done. Do we need to sync our watches?

MEETING MODERATOR: Just for clarification, I set my watch to the clock in the lower right corner of the desktop. But I think the synchronization on some standard would be great.

MIKE: I suggest we have a clock on the outside wall high enough that at least most of us can see it and use it as the official time. we can either set our watches to that time or stand up and check it. Either that or we have a couple minute lea way time.

ME: The desktop is actually unreliable since those are custom set. Mine is set to the phone which should be the same for everyone throughout the company; it's just a thought.

JIM: The desktop system time is set to network synchronized time when you login… (I just tested…) Sooo, unless you change it, it should be fairly reliable, Since we rely on it for Outlook meeting reminders, Perhaps we should not ignore our Meeting alarms and/or hit the Snooze or Dismiss buttons so hastily…>;)

MATT: I don’t think there are really any time issues here. There is no need to analyze how or what clock to use. The elephant in the room is that ______ was trying to make a point that we all be on time and not drift in 2 or 3 minutes after the meeting starts.

HAL: The current network time is 3 ¾ minutes earlier than the actual time (determined by Googling current time). The time on the phone seems much more accurate.

MEETING MODERATOR: I really do appreciate the response and the ideas that are coming in now.

If the whole team would please stay after the daily meeting on Thursday, we will meet and provide the opportunity for all the team members to provide input on how to resolve the situation. The team as a whole will then reach consensus on a final approach and we will move forward with that resolution. If you do not attend you will have to accept the consensus of the team members that are present. I will have the conference bridge open.

If you want to offer a suggestion and have it considered, and you are not able to attend either in person or by phone, please contact someone who you designate to vote your choice.

END OF THREAD

Well, I know what my “vote” will be: to end these stupid meetings! Maybe we just have the giggles today, but I and one of my coworkers have had tears rolling down our faces with hilarity every time another response to this issue hits my Inbox.

Tomorrow, my friends, I shall regale you with the titillating details of our morning meeting, in which this grave matter is discussed and rehashed a thousand times. Till then!