Water Boys

Saturday was cold but yesterday we were able to spend most of the day outdoors. Actually, they did get out (literally!) on Saturday--I went downstairs to throw in a load of laundry and was gone approximately 4 minutes, tops. I had them distracted watching Elmo (so I thought!). Now, they LOVE to be outdoors and know how to work all the doors and locks despite the white covers throughout the house. I even have taken the extra step of BARRICADING the front and side door with a heavy chair wedged under the knob!

When I came back upstairs, the chair was gone and front door wide open! I freaked. Since we have such a vast yard, it would be impossible to fence the entire area so they could run to the gravel road if they were so inclined. I ran outside screaming their names, barefoot and coatless in 20 degree weather, I might add. But there they were, climbing the swing set and going down the slide with no shoes on and no coats! And were having the time of their lives, I kid you not. The frigid temps didn't bother them in the slightest!

I try not to yell. I would like not even to have to raise my voice. But how else to impress upon them that they can't go outside without supervision and without their gear on??

Yesterday it came close to 60, so I let them be outside most of the day. They have decided now that they really like my grandfather's heavy 10 gallon watering can, and fought over it until things got a little dicey. Soon I will go to the Dollar store and get them their own cans and we will start a garden that will be all theirs!


Lk is dragging the watering can and bucket for his important work...

This can is almost bigger than they are!

Lm climbs in Granpa's truck and starts pushing all the buttons...

We're ready for spring now!!

Farm Boys

My guys are "all boy" and they are definitely farm boys. The other night Grandpa gave Lk a ride in the big tractor and he was on cloud 9. Then later my dad came to tell me that Lk was still in the tractor. "What?? Why?" I said. "He won't get out." So I marched to the shed and lo, there was Lk sitting in the driver's seat moving levers, clicking the lights and steering his little heart out! I had to forcibly extricate him out of there while he wailed in fake agony. These little guys are obsessed already with trucks and farm equipment.


Lm longs to go into what used to be our pig shed growing up. It's now just used to store hay once in awhile but my dad keeps the outbuildings very spiffy.

Unsuccessful there, he attempts to break in another way...

Lk loves to run and he's very fast. We play this game called "tickles" and he wants me to chase him around until I catch him and throw him in the air and tickle him. He really wears me out and wants to play this game all the time. He's only young once so I usually indulge him.

Lk rides his trike all over the farm (and in the house I will admit). But he hasn't grasped yet that if he rides into a bunch of mud, he will get stuck. Then it's, "Oh no! Mommy, oh no, it's stuck!" Guess who gets to carry the trikes back to the house :)

Lm is giving a very crucial speech here. One day he looked like this and he came up to me wagging his finger and said "No, no, no!" Gee, do I sound like that??

With "Gam-pah."

Better than any Olan Mills backdrop...

See ya!

Retreat Weekend

I went on a silent spiritual retreat from Friday night through Sunday early afternoon and it was great. My mom had been suggesting I go for a long time (years, I think) and finally 2 years ago I went. It’s only a few minutes from my house at a retreat center with beautiful grounds. Last time, I went sort of grudgingly, and my mom was thrilled, but I told her that my reasons for going were not spiritual, only that I wanted to sleep in for two mornings and have some time to myself. Tee-hee! She acknowledged that my intentions weren’t pure but that she hoped I would get something out of it anyway.

This time I went for spiritual reasons alone and because I enjoyed it so much the last time. What’s great is that it’s a silent retreat and you get your own room, which is right up my alley! I’d been on other ones where you have to socialize the entire time, even half the night, then you have to share deep feelings and hug people and cry, sing songs, and break into small groups to hear about other people’s problems. Lots of people love those and that was all good when I was college age. But the last thing I want now is to go to some high-pressure weekend where I would have to share deep thoughts with a group and sleep on bunkbeds in a room full of snoring women.

So, off I went. This one was packed full, and I soon found out why. The priest was a brilliant and fascinating speaker, very funny and witty, yet his talks were very moving. He should definitely be selling his lectures on tape! During a break I talked to him some about the logistics about raising my boys in the faith, which to be honest, I can’t see how that will be possible. But after talking to him, there is a little more hope toward laying that foundation.

The rooms are individual with no TVs, wireless hookup or the like. Take Walden’s cabin and add electricity and there you would have the bedroom I stayed in. What’s great is the total quiet and not having to hear your neighbor’s TV as well. The grounds are beautiful, and the weather Saturday was heaven-sent, about 70 or so with no wind. I got to take THREE long walks. It’s located next to a convent so I walked past that and saw some nuns scattered about planting flowers. The whole thing was out of a Tolstoy novel, I’m telling you.

Even during the meals we didn’t talk to anyone. It’s a good thing since I knew I didn’t have much in common with any of the other women, most of whom were about 20-30 years older than I was. Definitely a low-pressure time and I will be back!

Then Sunday I got home and my boys were raring to go so we played outside nearly the whole day even in the light rain. Will post some pics of that tomorrow.

Why We Should Date Younger Men

I'd love for my blog readers to weigh in on this one! And certainly if there are any male readers here, please put in your respectful $0.02 (though I doubt any man would be brave enough!).

Okay, a discussion with my friend Nat via email had me saying that, "One thing men demand is a woman who looks better than they do. The other thing they want is a woman who is younger than they are." I've never gone with a guy who is younger than I am because I tend to look at younger guys as "little brothers" rather than men. I think a lot of women feel the same, not that it's right, it's just the way we feel.

Now, I have a close relative who once said to me she is glad of her relationship where the guy is much older because "he won't need to go after a younger woman one day--I'm the younger woman." Though in her case the guy looks younger than he is.

Well, Nat (a regular reader and commenter here) has a different take on this, one that can't be ignored!! She graciously emailed me today with her philosophy on the subject and why she has always dated younger men. Here are FIVE good reasons to date a younger man, my friends. Reading this had me gasping with laughter! WITH HER PERMISSION I am reprinting the important points here. It's too good not to be published somewhere.

FROM NAT:

I couldn't disagree MORE with you about the men vs. women aging thing. I have an entire philosophy built on it. Here it goes.

1) Firstly, women ALWAYS fear their weight. Many women like me, hound and chase their tail their whole life to watch their weight and look good, starting off on work out programs when they're young--not for sports like men do in high school, but entirely for WEIGHT. Men, however, usually, unless they have a sluggish thyroid, don't worry at all for their first 40 years and eat like sows. Then, Mother Nature plays a BEAUTIFUL trick on all of them. While they're continuing to eat like sows, and thinking they're nifty, their metabolisms start to slow down and they do not take any precautionary measures. Unlike women, who always fear this, all of a sudden one day men wake up and have one of two things and even both: 1. Moobs (man boobs because they've not worked out and their pecs have fallen) and 2. pot belly but not necessarily a big one. It may be a small potbelly, but who wants to bang a guy who looks like he's three months pregnant?

2) Secondly, while men are SOMETIMES good with fashion in their 20's, somewhere in their 30's this starts to rapidly go down hill until you start seeing them wear shit like Dockers, boat shoes and golf shirts. ALWAYS. I have NEVER seen an exception to this (other than movie stars like Anthony Keitus of the Red Hot Chili Peppers). You will NOT find them dressing like rock stars. Women, usually being fairly conscious of clothes their entire lives, hardly ever let this happen.

3) Thirdly, and PROOF that God does love women, men lose their hair. Enough said.

4) Fourthly, men NEVER wear sunscreen. I cannot tell you, CANNOT TELL you how many men my age at the gym have 4 times the wrinkles than I do. They look like bloody hell.

5) Fiftly, men can't wear make up to hide things or accentuate their good features. In essence, they are screwed.

So sure, you have the anomolies like George Cl+oo/ney, but girl, look around, they're 1 in a million.

That is why cougaring has gotten so huge. Women who take care of themselves and have gotten some self esteem are like screw this, date some pig my age when I look great? I think not!

Touche, Nat! I hope this deeply moves some of my readers. Myself, I've been bursting into giggles everytime I think about it.

Water Babies

Sunday found us at an indoor water resort about an hour's drive away. The boys had the time of their lives. This place has huge water slides, kiddie water slides, a tubing "river ride," several pools, and a toddler pool. I didn't get many photos because my camera is not waterproof, plus it would have been too hard to get many pictures of them anyway and I didn't want to spoil our fun by dragging out the camera all the time.

This place is located not far from my work, and it sucked to have to drive so far on a day off; additionally I picked up a stomach bug the night before and felt miserable most of the day, but it was well worth it to see how much fun my little guys had at this place! I think my older neice would have a blast there too.

They sported their new Thomas the Train swim trunks...

At lunchtime, they wait patiently for our fries and pizza. This is a kids resort, so I was surprised that they serve alcohol there but did not sell milk! So my guys had to make due with water, as I haven't introduced them to sodas yet, and will not until they find out eventually through another source that such a beverage exists.

At the end of our stay I snapped a couple photos of the place, so my kids are not in these, but it kind of shows the fun they had. Below is a shot of the monsoon that would hit randomly and douse everyone with water.

These yellow slides were the kiddie slides and the only ones my guys could use, as they didn't meet the height requirement for the bigger ones. Which turned out to be a good thing since I tried one of the big slides myself and it was a little scary! L&L might have been traumatized a long time if I'd let them try it.

At the landing, I had a little wardrobe malfunction with my bikini top but luckily not many people were standing there before I managed to get it adjusted! That water comes at you pretty fast on the landing.

We got there at 10:15 or so, right after they opened, and it was already pretty packed. My guys just loved it. We shared a tube for the river ride (they sure are getting heavy!) and their eyes were so wide and in awe as we rode around and around the "river," then Lm loved the toddler pool because he could splash in there to his heart's content without having me nag him when at home he floods my bathroom while in the tub. Lk's favorite was the slide that he went down over and over.

They had lunch around noon, then back in until 1:45, when Lk started to get cranky. They normally take naps at 1:30 so I wanted to see how long they would last. I thought they would sleep on the car ride home but instead they were giggling and teasing each other all the way. This meant they took a nap at home and I got one too!

New Shoes

My guys have a grandma who likes to spoil them! She recently bought them new Spiderman shoes that light up in the front and back when they take a step. The night they received the shoes, L&L didn't want to take them off even when it was time to go to bed. They danced all around Grandma's kitchen to watch them light up...

That night the only way I could get them into their sleepers is to allow them to wear the shoes over the sleeper feet! Finally when bedtime came, I had to take them off. Lk cried for awhile but he got over it. Next morning, though, I awoke to Lk crying, "Shoes, shoes! Mommy! Shoes!"

Then on the way to daycare the next day, Lm was upset because he couldn't see them light up while we were walking in the sun to the door. My daycare lady said that all day Lm had eyes only for his shoes and was bumping into things.

Now, about a week later, some of the excitement of the shoes has worn off, thankfully.

Got a Promotion & Raise (nope, not a misprint)

This morning my boss called me into his boss's office. During the 90 seconds of panic from the moment I stood from my chair to the moment I sat in there, I went through any possible transgressions in my mind. But, alas, they were only calling me in there to give me a raise and promotion.

In short, my boss wants me to help him do his job, and I'm going to be supervising the other 3 in my department. Stop laughing, you guys! Yes, the idea of me in a managerial role in a corporate setting is a little absurd, but who am I to question my boss's judgment? I've worried that either I'll be too strict or too liberal.

Funny though, I don't have a title change. I've always had the word "Senior" before my title, and my last boss said that he couldn't get me a raise because I already had the title. Now, however, others have been stripped of the title and I'm the only one who has it. So they were able logisitically now to get me the raise and promote me to what my position already was. Not in reality by promoting me, but by demoting everyone else.

If that sounds utterly ridiculous, remember I work in Corporate! In trying to discern what my additional duties will be, I couldn't get a clear cut answer. So far all I've done in my "new" position is flip over my desk poster that says "Hard work never killed anyone--but why chance it?" to the side that says "Hard work never kills anyone--who's supervising."

Got asked out...and then not

Why not share a slightly funny, though all too typical story with my gentle readership. There was this great looking guy who worked at my job as a contractor (his contract ended a month ago, fortunately) who was in my morning meetings with me. He was one of several in the room and it was hard not to notice him just from an aesthetic perspective because he was so attractive. But I didn’t think much about him, as I’m not interested in the too-good-looking guys, because 9 times out of 10 they are arrogant.

After about 3 months in these morning meetings, by chance we crossed paths in the parking lot on the way to the building and he said hello and struck up a conversation. But then another couple of months passed and right before Christmas break he sort of pulled me aside after the morning meeting and chatted me up about innocuous holiday plans and so forth, for a long time. I thought, wow, he’s nice AND attractive; two qualities that rarely go together in most single men, from my experience.

Right away I mentioned that I’m a mom of twins. Most guys normally get whip lash running the other way when I say it, so I always bring that up immediately. This guy wasn’t daunted, as he’s a single father of two himself, divorced for 3 years. It took him another month to work up the courage to ask me out (over email, the chicken!) and we went to lunch.

The lunch went well. He told me a little about his divorce, but I was happy that he didn’t ask me about my situation; I just hate dates that feel like an interview and the guy is asking if I’m receiving child support and a hundred other None-of-Your-Business questions. This guy passed that test, as he very respectful about it.

The second lunch was going great until he told me he belongs to some megachurch. I deplore megachurches and find that oftentimes religious guys are too judgmental. BUT, I figured this one had suffered some hard knocks, having gone through a divorce and he already had given up on the notion of a perfect nuclear family for himself, as I have. So I soldiered on.

This saintly pace continued as he asked a week in advance for the third date—also a lunch, which I accepted. Now, this date I felt much more comfortable than on the first two. We’d also spoken on the phone a few times and emailed, plus we had known each other at work for 5-6 months. So after he told me about his having gone to Mexico to get a mail order bride (he didn’t use that term, but she was 18 and he was 26 and he barely knew her), then after she had an affair with their next door neighbor, followed by another with the guy she’s married to now, after she tried to commit suicide and a whole host of other problems, they divorced and fought for custody—well, call me confident, but I felt comfortable sharing, in the most abstract of terms, after he asked, the fact that my kids’ father is not in our lives and that I’m happy this way with no complications.

This was the ax, my friends! He tried not to look shocked at this horrid revelation, but when he made some statement about how he thinks that people who don’t intend to get married to the father of their kid should consider adoption instead (???), then I knew that could come between us. But I played it cool and we were friendly and even stayed a bit longer before leaving to get back to work.

But his demeanor had changed. Still, after the soap opera he’d just divulged to me, I didn’t expect he wouldn’t ask me out again, but when he let me off, I knew he wouldn’t. Men are easy to read. I don’t mean this as an insult, it’s just the way they are. I haven’t heard a word from him since before I went on my vacation, and I’m good with it. No hard feelings and all that. It does slay me though that men, if you say no to a date with them, they want to know every detail regarding why, but we as women are just supposed to accept their whims without questioning them.

Alas, I’m not bitter! I actually hope some people get a good laugh out of the fact that this guy’s As The World Turns story which is 10 times the stress of mine, had him shaking his head over my situation as a single parent. Men!

Lky Okay

Thanks for all the well wishes! My Lk is okay, the white count came back a little low but the dr. thinks the cysts are swollen nodes from a recent virus. I'm so relieved. He really was a brave boy at the doctor's office. He'll get checked again at his 3 year in July but otherwise doesn't need to be seen again for this problem. Yippee!!!

The L Word

Lk's doctor appointment was this morning. All along I pretty much expected the dr. to say it's just swollen glands and that he might have a mild infection, here's a script for an antibiotic.

Instead he said that Lk has 7 cysts (!!!) and that we may as well "rule out" leukemia. I had hoped he would not mention the C word, but there it was. He ordered a blood test and drew blood from Lk's finger (he was all excited about his Snoopy bandaid afterward), and it just broke my heart. I managed to get to the car before I burst into tears. Grandma took Lk to daycare while I drove on to work, sobbing the whole way.

Doctors always try to euphamize by saying, "Let's just rule it out." Now I know they are susceptible to lawsuits so they don't want to sugarcoat too much at the same time they don't want to put forth panic. Leukemia never crossed my mind; I thought lymphoma as a worst case scenario. Now we wait for the call to come back after testing at the lab. I should know within 24 hours. But a long 24 that will be.

Please pray for my sweet baby...

Settled Finally

Finally I have settled with St*ate F/arm over my car accident claim. You would think that after their insured hit me head on with a semi going the wrong way that they would just have paid my bills without complaint. Instead their agent tried to F me over by telling me he had "all the bills" in and lied to me that they came in at $2500 less than they actually did. Like I was not going to notice that??

The day of the accident I had X-rays, and the shyster was actually trying to weasel out of paying the ambulance bill and one of the radiology bills!! When you end up having x-rays, it's not just one bill, it ends up being 5-6 bills for the hospital fee, the radiologist, the physician's network, the ambulance, the pharmacy, etc.

Being generally an honest person myself, I expect it in others, so when the agent told me the amount they came to, I believed him. Then fortunately my usual attention to detail kicked in and I called each and every place that could possibly have a bill outstanding, and the amounts were much higher than what the agent quoted me. I called him back, furious, and he said that he could "only go by" what he had. BS. So I had to have everything faxed to him from those places, as well as request copies for myself.

We came to a verbal agreement over the phone Friday and then yesterday he called me and said he'd mail out the check for an amount that was $100 less than what we had agreed on (and I had faxed him) on Friday. I kid you not! He said that he had talked to his manager and that he could only give me that amount b/c it was determined that was what the claim would be if we went to a jury trial. "Then let's put it before a jury trial," I said. "It sounds like that's what you want."

"I can try to talk to him again," he said. "But that's the amount I can settle with you right now. He's pretty firm. "

"So am I." I hung up and called the attorney I'd spoken with a couple of times, who of course thinks I'm being taken advantage of and so forth, but honestly I don't want to drag this out and just want it settled--but fairly.

Apparently neither did the agent, as he called me right back and left a couple of voicemails (I was too upset to answer his calls) that he would not only give me the $100 more, but he would round it up, making it $3.77 more than we had agreed upon. Such generosity! Two people you can never trust: insurance adjustors and defense attorneys.

Response to Chaos

YES - I'm a worrywort. Can't help it. Very, very worried about Lk's appointment on Thursday. I thought of a lot of things before becoming a mom but never realized the worry would be the hardest to deal with. Any of you moms out there dealing with serious health issues with your kids, my hat's off to you all! The worry is unlike any that it seems possible to experience.


For the spiritually integrated, and/or those who just love poetry like I do, this amazing poem appears at the beginning of Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies. Had to share.

Than/ks by W.S. Mer/win

Listen
with the night falling we are saying thank you
we are stopping on the bridge to bow from the railings
we are running out of the glass rooms
with our mouths full of food to look at the sky
and say thank you
we are standing by the water looking out
in different directions

back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging
after funerals we are saying thank you
after the news of the dead
whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you
in a culture up to its chin in shame
living in the stench it has chosen we are saying thank you

over telephones we are saying thank you
in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators
remembering wars and the police at the back door
and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you

in the banks that use us we are saying thank you
with the crooks in office with the rich and fashionable
unchanged we go on saying thank you thank you

with the animals dying around us
our lost feelings we are saying thank you
with the forests falling faster than the minutes
of our lives we are saying thank you
with the words going out like cells of a brain
with the cities growing over us like the earth
we are saying thank you faster and faster
with nobody listening we are saying thank you
we are saying thank you and waving
dark though it is